We all have feelings. Often we are too insecure to fully acknowledge what it means and why. They tend to scare people you least expect. I have been trying something new for a while and maturely, objectively evaluating my thoughts before acting. I’m trying to be aware of feelings and insecurities. It’s made me a better person.
I felt comfortable enough to tell myself that something would never happen, and that is ok. It’s a culmination of growth, helping others grow, and losing my insecurities that I honestly believe is going to make this a good year. After not trying to ask someone out for close to 10 years, I finally did so. I just randomly started carrying a conversation with a girl and her dog at a coffeehouse. In the end I got rejected. In the past i would have felt hurt but, something strange happened this time. I didn’t feel anything but “did I really just do that with zero fear?” Now my goal is to talk to a new stranger I find attractive at least once per week. I have an awesome wingman, she knows who she is, to push me by calling me a chicken.
This brings me to more recent events of evaluating feelings and realizing that it doesn’t match reality. It’s incredibly freeing to see the whole picture beyond yourself. You can be honest without fear because you’ve realized it’s just silly. I realized my past feelings were mostly misplaced admiration. I kept something to myself but in order to help a friend, past information needed to come out for her own self evaluation. I believe I truly helped a friend. It was cool to witnesses them suddenly see the whole picture instead of just parts. Sometimes you need a truth bomb from a friend. Knowing what i know I am seriously laughing at myself.
I think my goal in life is to help people overcome insecurities and learn to live without fear.
My honesty just created a solid friendship. I also, while writing this, realized that I just grew as a person again. I’m proud of myself for both. Keep growing. Take it with a grain of salt they say. Most importantly, evaluate your own truth.